It's the Pits...

 (to the tune of “Puttin’ on the Ritz”)

Sprinting down the avenue
You gotta go, what can you do?
It’s the pits, when you’ve got the shits

Find a place where you can go
Your number two has got to flow
It’s the pits, when you’ve got the shits

Try to find a clean and public pooper
Maybe a Starbucks could be quite super (super pooper!)

Once you sit there, you are stuck
The next in line is out of luck
It’s the pits, when you’ve got the shits

--

words (c) Kevin Cheek 2026